Finding Motherhood

Motherhood. It changes everything.

The pace. The depth. The texture.

The journey to motherhood itself has been full of rich layers.

The molding, shaping, and transforming that starts to take place within us, even before it has started. Everything begins long before we can even feel it. Our fingers press against a blank canvas, drumming lightly in anticipation for what is to come to fruition.

Dawn arrives with a single mark, a single stroke, a single gesture.

Perhaps this genesis is the bravest part, whether we know it or not.

Be it an unexpected splattering, a premeditated sketch, or something in between...every journey begins somewhere.

The brightness. The bubbles of hope. The highlights, the formation of circles.

The bounce in our step as we find our rhythm and anticipate new patterns.

The rush of this momentum is fleeting, for we all know that change is the only constant.

As always, there are roadblocks.

The shadows, the webs of the unknown, the heaviness.

The doubt that morphs into fear. Is it over?

His voice in your ear: No, this is not over.

This is not the end. Step away. Clear your mind. And keep trying.

We grow through it as we go through it.

The moments in between point A and point B are often the hardest, but they're the heart of every journey. In retrospect, they often blur together in a beautiful time-lapse of how it was always meant to be. If we yearn for it, if we fight for it, if we wait for it....

Motherhood arrives to us one day.

When it happens you'll have to remind yourself to breathe.

It was the shiniest pop of color I've ever existed in.